March 2012
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That ice cream truck is really taunting me with its jingle.
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wishesuponrequest replied to your post: I just found a condom wedged in between my chair…
o.o what was it from? XD
Last semester I found some condoms in my driveway — presumably from my upstairs neighbor shaking out a bag or something over the balcony — and one of my friends picked the condoms up to bring them inside and throw away, but my chair ate one of them — which is...
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I just found a condom wedged in between my chair and the cushion. I had a moment of confusion before I remembered what it was from.
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plasticoctopus:
TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAIN
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uuuh, so i just checked my camera without the SIM...
turdmaster:
fwips:
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My breath kind of smells like cherries. Must have been those cherry twizzlers I had earlier.
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Me after 15 minutes of studying
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thatsnotpunny:
What did the river do when it saw a stranger?
It ran.
What did the ocean do when it saw a stranger?
Stood there and waved.
thatsnotpunny:
Where do Pharaohs go when they throw their backs out?
To see their Cairo-practor.
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thatsnotpunny:
How come Moses never told jokes?
All the ones he knew were Torah-ble.
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thatsnotpunny:
How did the cd Walkman go down the stairs?
It skipped.
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Watch
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Damn it what am I doing here I’m supposed to be doing homework not tumblr-ing.
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One of my goals in life is to learn how to raise one eyebrow.
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I really, really want to go to sleep, but my friend hasn’t answered the text I sent her asking if she’s coming back or not.
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My attempts at not having company today have been unsuccessful. Now I have to appear like I’m not slacking off because I said I was doing homework. Damn it.
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Every time I get a text message now I keep almost saying, “What’s the sitch?” Damn this ringtone.
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dickstyles:
when you have unlimited texting but only text two people.
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age 15: i want a girlfriend
age 20: i rly want a girlfriend ok
age 30: no srsly i need a girlfriend guys im not kidding
age 40: pls im desperate
age 50: guys this isnt funny anymore cmon
age 60: its not funny guys
age 70: guys
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shyshyshine:
Jimmy Eat World - Always Be
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every morning: fuck my life why the shit did I go to bed so late god why do I do this to myself okay that's it tonight I'm going to bed at 6PM no excuses this is ridiculous
3AM that night: well fuck
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“Pop pop pop, watchin’ motherfuckers drop. … Oh shit, I dropped!”
– One of my friends just now while playing Black Ops
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Man fuck that ending. It totally drained all my happy reserves.
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Oh my god this tea tastes horrible. I thought apple cinnamon was supposed to taste good.
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Oh, damn it. There goes my two-year record for not having any colds or illnesses.
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“My favorite black show is Cops.”
– One of my friends just now
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